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U.S. President George W. Bush refused to "negotiate with myself in public" today after taking himself hostage in the Oval Office Monday, December 20, 2004.
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Dec 20 9:46 PM ET
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U.S. President George W. Bush shouts the name of a deep cover al Qaeda mole to reporters in response to questions
about his effectivness in leading the War on Terror as he arrives in Kennebunkport, Maine, Friday, Aug. 6, 2004 for a weekend of fishing
and family frolic.
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Aug 7 10:44 AM ET
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U.S. President George W. Bush sucks the brain from a future Republican in a
traditional ceremony at the Republican Youth Corps picnic in Stratham, New Hampshire August 6, 2004.
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Aug 6 12:46 PM ET
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U.S. President George W. Bush shares a laugh with senior citizen Wanda Blackmore
during a rally in a Missouri Community Center featuring grisley video of numerous car bombings in Iraq, which are on the upswing. Bush
outlined the benefits of the occupation of Iraq in terms of cheaper prescription drugs for senior citizens.
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Jun 21 00:31 AM ET
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"Why, not even I know what goes on in this head of mine. I rely on God Almighty to put in
the right stuff in, and He's with me, not against us." explains President George W. Bush at the conclusion of the Group of Eight Decides Your Fate Summit at the
International Media Center in Savannah, Georgia June 10, 2004.
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Jun 13 11:27 AM ET
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President George W. Bush swerves to avoid a large, talking pink elephant which appeared
directly in his path while driving an electric car with passenger first lady Laura Bush at the G8 summit on Sea Island, Georgia, June 8,
2004. (more)
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Jun 9 9:46 AM ET
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President George W. Bush does the "same-sex side-step" with Raul Moran of Tenderloin, North Dakota,
while attending a group marriage ceremony for gay U.S. Air Force Cadets at Felch Air Force Base in Texas, June 2, 2004. "I'm really getting in touch
with my 'Inner Ginger Rogers'", noted the President.
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Jun 6 17:36 PM ET
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US President George W. Bush warns that the US still faces a threat of a
catastrophic attack with "nukaleer, bahlogical or chimical weapons." The President also warned of possible bogiemen in the closet and
monsters of mass destruction lurking under American beds.
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Feb 14 04:52 PM ET
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Libyan leader Moammer Gadhafi, after secret
negotiations with the United States and Britain, agreed to halt his nation's drive to develop nuclear
and chemical weapons in return for a Disco Ball™, a Playboy® keychain fob and a dozen Village People CD's.
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Dec 22 03:02 AM ET
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Guests react with polite incredulity as US President George W. Bush dances and sings
"The Hokey Pokey" during a discussion on economic recovery with employers and employees of several manufacturing businesses Tuesday
December 2, 2003 in Canton, MI.
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Dec 2 10:02 AM ET
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US President George W. Bush said today that Americans should feel insulted if Britons take to the
streets to protest the Iraq war during his upcoming visit, and threatened to hold his breath until his lips turn blue if protests mar the trip.
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Nov 15 10:46 AM ET
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Amid concern that the British populace may kick his smirking ass back across the
Atlantic, Britain is implementing high-cost security measures to ensure the safety of US President George W. Bush during a visit here
next week.
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Nov 12 09:37 PM ET
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President Bush shrieks and gibbers at supporters after finishing a
campaign stop in London, Ky., Saturday, Nov. 1, 2003.
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Nov 10 07:23 AM ET
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Der Feurher salutes at a fundraiser for the Republikan candidate for Mississippi Grand Klaxonship, Leroy Dilb, at the Mississippi Coliseum
in Jackson, Sept. 12, 2003.
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Sep 15 00:09 AM ET
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"The voices! They never stop! 'Kill! Kill! Kill!'" complained U.S. President George W. Bush today at a press conference in the White House Rose Garden.
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Jul 30 22:59 PM ET
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U.S. President George W. Bush, speaking about his Administration's job and growth plan Philadelphia, July 24, 2003, said "NEW GOVERNMENT CHECKS WILL BE ON THEIR WAY TO MILLIONS OF AMERICANS WITH CHILDREN JUST AS SOON AS I GET MY DICK OUT OF THIS WRINGER!"
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Jul 24 13:21 PM ET
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President Bush waves as he exits Porta-Potty One where he presided over an economic conference near a Detroit area construction site on Thursday, July 24, 2003.
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Jul 24 09:17 AM ET
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President Bush peers out from a wall as he urinates
following his signing of the Intelligence Authorization Act, Wednesday, Nov. 27, 2002 at the White House
in Washington.
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Nov 28 20:26 PM ET
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U.S. President George W. Bush
struggles to hold onto his pet longhorn Ofelia as he prepares to board Marine One to depart the White House for Camp David,
November 8, 2002.
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Nov 8 9:18 AM ET
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"Buy Hav-A-Hank and let's sniff the dogs of war!" U.S. President George W. Bush declared
today in an effort to carry forth his message of War on Iraq. Framed by an American flag, the president fashioned a
dog-like shadow puppet to drive his point home. "Woof! Woof woof! We're coming after evil axis doers and if you're not
with us, you're someone else" warned Bush.
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Oct 26 10:27 PM ET
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President Bush and energy magnate Montgomery Burns walk together after
arriving at Camp David Saturday, Sept. 14, 2002, in Thurmont, Md. The President is said to have expressed "great interest"
in Burns' proposal to extinguish the sun.
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Sep 15 3:23 PM ET
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Here's the smell of the blood still: all the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand.
Oh, oh, oh!
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Aug 21 10:57 PM ET
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Israeli experts in Transcendental Meditation and Yogic Flying
demonstrate their technique over Tel Aviv Tuesday July 23, 2002.
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Jul 24 10:57 PM ET
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U.S. President George W. Bush personally inspects the
"little trooper" of a soldier from the Army's 10th Gay Patriots Division at Fort Felch, TX on July 19, 2002.
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Jul 19 3:17 PM ET
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"What day is this? Why is my brother a Negro? God I need
my Xanax!" blurted a visibly agitated Noelle Bush, after spending 43 hours in jail for violating her court-ordered
drug treatment plan.
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Jul 19 1:33 PM ET
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U.S. President George W. Bush reacts to a heckler shouting "Look Mr.
President! A dead bird!" as he prepared to speak to the Michigan Polish American Community in Troy, Michigan,
July 18, 2002.
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Jul 18 10:57 PM ET
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U.S. President George W. Bush ducks to peek under foliage on the
Rose Garden colannade to see whether reporters have spotted his misty morning frolic with a family pet prior to
departing the White House July 18, 2002.
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Jul 18 6:22 PM ET
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President George W. Bush holds a copy of his National Strategy on
Caterpillar Defense in the Rose Garden of the White House in Washington, July 16, 2002. Bush laid out a strategy to protect
America from hungry caterpillar terror.
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Jul 16 9:52 PM ET
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Indistinguishable from the residents, U.S. President George W. Bush
tosses a ball to a group of children during his visit to Camp Greentop Friday, July 12, 2002. The camp is one of the oldest
residential camps specifically designed for children and adults with multiple disabilities.
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Jul 12 5:44 PM ET
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U.S. President George W. Bush, sporting a single white sequined glove, busts a move for singer George Michael
during an outing near the Bush family home in Kennebunkport, Maine, Saturday, July 6, 2002.
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Jul 8 4:23 PM ET
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U.S. President George W. Bush waits impatiently at a restroom urinal as a Secret Service agent
shakes the final drops off the First Penis.
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Jul 4 2:29 PM ET
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U.S. Director of Homeland Security Tom Ridge (R) enrages Rep. Chris Shays (D-Ct) with an "Itsy Bitsy Spider" hand and repeated chants of "Code Red -
Terror Spiders Ahead" on Capitol Hill, June 20, 2002. Ridge was on Capitol Hill to testify about his plan to suspend
the constitution indefinitely due to security risks.
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Jul 2 7:26 PM ET
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Christine Todd Whitman, the top U.S. environmental regulator, struggles with her gag reflex after
President George W. Bush offloaded a ration of greenhouse gas emissions. "That'll warm your globes, biatch!" said the
President.
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Jun 16 12:21 PM ET
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"Yes, we do have blacks in cyberspace!" muttered a visibly annoyed Steve Case, Chairman of AOL
Time Warner, shown here during a demonstration of his company's new software at the White House today.
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Jun 13 8:21 PM ET
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U.S. President George W. Bush breaks into a rousing version of
"Over The Rainbow" as he prepares to wish himself back to his Texas ranch late Friday. Squeaky cries of "goodbye" and
"farewell" filled the air during the sendoff attended by most members of his munchkin Cabinet.
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Jun 9 11:21 AM ET
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U.S. President George W. Bush introduces the nation to the newest U.S. ally in the War on Terror, Glenda Good-Witch of The North. "Where I come from, we know how to deal with evildoers!",
enthused Good-Witch at a White House reception in her honor on Friday. "Perhaps I shall drop a house on Yassir Arafat!"
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Jun 9 11:21 AM ET
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Secretary of State Colin Powell takes a moment to savor the bouquet of his boss, President George W. Bush as they wait for a cab in front of a public restroom in Washington, DC Thursday.
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May 30 6:11 PM ET
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President Bush jokes with reporters that he intends to "do a little dance, make a little love,
and get down tonight" in honor of counselor Karen Hughes.
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Apr 23 4:35 PM ET
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U.S. President George W. Bush prepares to go on mail-carrier alert at the White House April 21, 2002 as Bush's Mail Czar Barney warns of the extreme likelihood of mail carrier presence during attempted mail delivery this week.
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Apr 21 12:36 PM ET
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U.S. Presidential Replicant George W. Bush walks to Marine Two on the Substitute South Lawn of the Alternate White House in PseudoWashington, April 19, 2002.
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Apr 19 4:34 AM ET
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"Smells just like Arafat!" jokes U.S. President George W. Bush as German opposition candidate Edmund Sprocket gives him a whiff of pig's ass in the Oval office at The White House April 12, 2002.
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Apr 12 4:30 AM ET
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Vice President Dick Cheney holds a knife as he and President George W. Bush prepare to inaugurate a new faith-based pet population control initiative yesterday, February 4, 2002.
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Feb 4 2:16 PM ET
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Vice President Dick Cheney holds a knife as he prepares to slice off his own penis and flush it down the toilet January 30, 2002. "It is written in Bible that if a part of your body distances you from God, and makes you commit a sin, you should cut it off," Cheney told reporters.
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Jan 30 11:31 AM ET
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Disgraced former President George W. Bush reacts with alarm upon meeting his cellmate at the J. Edgar Hoover Center For Corrective Sodomy outside Butte Clench, Nevada this morning. Bush was to begin serving a 20 year sentence for his pivotal role in the Enrongate scandal.
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Some day in the future...
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